When Seagulls That are Really Ninjas Cry
by PinkiePieLover43
Summary: My umineko/naruto fanfic


When Segulls that are Relly ninjas cry

By Pinkipielover43

One day Rudolf was looking really cute and he was eatinh Mcdonalds that KYRIE gave him money for. Then he saw a telescope on the playland, he used the telescope to see across the ocean an he saw a really perfect girl for him. But she was in Nigeria so Rudolf reached into his pants and pulled out his wiener. Heshot his wiener all the way to Nigeria. *Authors Note* Rudolf is actually the Native American Coyote Man from folklore.*Authors Notes End*

His wiener went to the really perfect girl and they had a baby. Then a few weeks later the baby was born fully developed because he was actually the demon the nine tailed fox. Then he was named Naruto. Then his mother was killerd by Sauske. So God sent Naruto to live with Rudolf and his family. But he had to ride a boat there.

Battler was having a really hapy day playing super smash brothers with Ange Berger. *Author's Note* In this story ange came*Author's Note End* Then a noise happened. "Huh?" Battler exclaimed. NO said Rudolf screamed passively. Rudolf knew it was his new baby son Naruto. Then KYRIE came and pronounced "WHAT DO RUDOLF! ! WHY BOAT COME HERE!" Rudolf sighed and explained cautiously BECAUSE HE KNEW KYRIE HAD A TEMPER! " I know you may be shocked but I am A COYOTE DEMON. KYRIE got a primal urge and they humpedright in front of the kids. Battler tried to grab his mom's breasts but she slapped his hand off and put it in the garbage. " Oh WELLL " said battler and he decided to go stare at the ocean. Then Naruto's boat flew into the boat that they came on. OOPS I guess we are trapped Kinzo sighed intelligently. Then Naruto jumped off the boat and onto Hideyoshi's belly. OMG gasped Hideyoshi. Then Naruto stopped time and went to ninja school because this was boring. Then he came and made time go again.

**CHAPTER 2: THE DAY NARUTO CAME.**

Battler was so distracted by the boat crushing his legs that he forgot to say hello to his bro Naruto. He looked up and clawed out of the boat. The blood was not good, so Battler jumped into the ocean EVEN THOUGH HE WAS HYDROPHOBIC! Naruto jumped in and saved! " Yo you are the best brother thing thank you much! " he whispered. Naruto felt glad he finally had someone who loved him like his dead mother. Then he had to go train in the forest so he abandoned the lameos. He rocketed through the forest with the monkeys that were clearly native to Rokkenjima. He growlped one with his claw and thought it would be good to keep. So he placed it delicately into his pouch. He came to a house but he didn't really care about it, so he peed on it. Then a very pretty lady came out and yelled " ASSHAT WHY ARE YOU PISSING ON MY CRIB, YOU DUMPASS! " Naruto was instantly in love, her charms were too great. He had a boner he couldn't hide so he left quickly. He got to the guest house and saw his cute Maria. " I saw this monkey and thought of your mom " he gave maria the monkey and she was so happy she gave naruto a cute hug. " YOU'RE THE BEST EVER NARUTO, TAKE THIS SCORpION PENDENT BATTLER LOST BECAUSE HES A BDUMBY AND I HATE HIM!11 AAUGHGHGHHH! " Maria fisted the scorpion pendent into Narutos mouth. She had to go do laundy and little girl things so she disappeared. Then Rosa noticed the vapours where maria was standing and had to come there. Rosa beat maria senseless in a gentle way with a baseball bat. " TOOHPASTE DOSENT TELL LIES " she alleged. Naruto was instantly repulsed and fled into the house where he ran over down the servant Shannon he already her name because they went to ninja school together for 15 years. " Naruto-chan Gomenasai Watashi wa namakemono to orokadesuga, sono subarashiito omoiyaridesu! " Shannon recited. Naruto didn't understand a word she said but she was so beautiful and he knew that she was into him. Then a helicopter came out of nowhere to drop the families special guest, it was…..PINKIEPIELOVER43! She came with dubbed and subbed My Little Pony ™ Friendship is Magic For all tastes so that everyone was happy. Naruto Ushiromiya did not notice this because he was too busy looking at Shannons Latina complection. "Okuraseru, naze anata wa kore o okonau nodesu ka? Anata no kao ni wa dani no yō ni narimasu! Hanarete iku, watashi wa ima watashi no chīsana ponī o miru. " defened Shannon as she fell out the door. Naruto knew she would come back, eventually. Just then Kanon came into the room, he pulled off his hair and revealed his face to be SASUKE! NOOOO said naruto youngly as he went to flee. He decided at that second to call him Kanosuke because he could not decide between Kanon or Sasuke. Kanosuke threw 18 shurikens at Naruto with one fatal yet slightly homoerotic wrist flick.

**PART DEUX**

The blades were so sharp that they cut narutos hair right off his glorious scalp. PINKIEPIELOVER43 took out her pink katana and sliced off Kanosuke's wiener. Now he was powerless. Kanosuke's pants fell of he was wearing a Sailor Moon thong and everyone saw his butt. So they laughed except PINKIPIELOVER43 who was already playing her Nintendo threw up like a bulimic model in a fashionable way. He ran away crying. Another day safe from my rival pondered Narruto.

PINKIEPIELOVER43 went into the woods to listen to Blood on The Dancefloor, when all the suddena witch came. PINKIEPIELOVER43 was a time traveler so she knew it was the golden witch Beatrice. *Author's Note* No I'm not calling her Beatoriche because that's dumb*Authors Note End* ssssss PINKIEPIELOVER43 fled from the greatness eminating from the witch. George heard her screams and thought they were the unmistakable screams of rape. George knew the sound far too well and prepared to pounce the woman and rape her himself. But he didn't know I was PINKIEPIELOVER43 and she penetrated him right in the butt. George yelped in pain aand Beatrice thinking it was Naruto Peed on him as payback. George being the gross guy he was got aroused and slurped up the pee. Beatrice kicked him in the nuts. George went into a coma thinking about finding a boyfriend free girl. Beatrice said FUCK THIS SHIT and threw a magic knife at him. *Author's Note* I'm sorry for using the really really bad word but Beatrice is like a fierce tiger*Author's Note End* George died. Then Naruto came. Naruto said to Beatrice who are you? Beatrice said "I'm the GODDAMN golden witch DIPSHIT, and you're about to become my BITCHES." Then Naruto asked "Wanna be best friends." Then Beatrice smacked Naruto's face. Naruto woke up a few days later he walked around and realized that Shannon was dead. Naruto was sad. But then PINKIEPIELOVER43 came and told

Naruto people were dying evr since that witch came. Kinzo was on fire. Shannon got stabbed in the stomach.

**PART TRECE**

Naruto was verry sad he cried. Then he walked into the kitchen and looked around and there were no maids which made him cry a lot more. So he made himself some ramin noodles and ate them with his signed Hello Kitty TM chopsticks. But then he saw that everybodys ramen bowls were being used except for georges so he made george ramen with a secret ingredient PEE! It was supposed to be a fun joke but george was very mad so he proclaimed at him " NARUTO SAN why would you urinate in my ramen that was the last of the beef flavor ramen which you know is my favrorit. Then naruto affirmed Because you wantedShannonall to your self but I loved her a lot more and she loved me a lot too. But the argument wouldn't last long enougj for NAruto to make his point cause right there george got stabbed and there was a shiny butterfly that guffawed at him and flew away. NOOOOOOOOOOOO shot narutoy/. He was mad at George but didn't want him to die. He tried to tell Eva but she was too busy talking on her cell phone to her bff about her new clothes he got at Aeropastle to care. naruto wundered what an aeropasta was but he didnt really care because HIS BEST BUDDY JOERGI WAS IN TROUBLE! he tumblebolted to the side and broke the special wall for fire troubles to get the axe he needed. But axes cant be thrown at air, like witches, so naruto throw the axe aside. TIME WAS BEING WASTED- he called up battler on his motorolla cellphone " bro dthere is a big uhoh in the kitchen plz come " battler was on te other end in the bedroom making jessica hot millk but this was a problem and he bucked the cuppie into her face and forcedout of the window to narutos aids. Battler didnt make it on time. And gorge died. Naruto howeled out a high cry and was even sadder. Then he went to go tell Hideyoshi Georges dad cause Eva was too bisy on her cell. Hideyoshi was very disapointed and went to go take a bath then Eva was alllike. OMG GTFO YOU STUPID DORK. Narito ran away crying and Eva was theb all. LOL WHAT A LOSER .

**SECTION FOUR**

Hideyoshi meanwhile was preparig for his ceremonial bath. he only would take to useing the best products from bath and body works, the best store for shampoo eveyr1 should buy there. he got naked and got naked in the tub. he relaxed and played some tunesie by his faov singer Skrillex, it really helped the oil set into his there was a sound and Beatride cAMe and throed knives. The knives hut hideyoshi and Eva in the head. And thrn they died from head explosions. Then natruo came and saw then he was sad again. Damit theyre dead said Battler . No they cant be dead thy never knew of georges death! Shouted Jessica. Its betre this way naruto they saw Beatrice fly threw the rood into the sky ahn go toitalythen she lit jermanyitalyand freance from axis powers hetalis. They died and then battler rudof kyrie naruto Jessica kanin ange mariarosakraws genji all cied really hard because healia was there wfav show. Pinkiepielover43 howevr didn't care because she didnt5 like hetalia she liked bleavh. Then kanosuke tried to hit on pinkiepielover43! But she didn't like him so she cut his fingers. And he ran away crying like a baby. Then she sheathed her box cutter and walkied away. * Author's NUTE* I put up spell check so be less errors with grammar and spieling *Author's Note end* Then in a another room rosa So than Rosa buckled Maria with her Belgian waffle pan she bough with money she maid by selling crack to Swiss chocolate benefactors and scrambled "RECYCLE TODAY FOR A BETTER TOMORROW!". Butt oh no Maruto saw and switched back time rite before maria got stroked with the blunt objects. Then he jumpier in front of the pan and it caresses his genitalia shaped four-head He feel down in pain OOOCH he ululated. Rosas limpid eyes smeared at him and asked why. NARUKTO Yo have not and business doing that at my family and pummeled the wall with her . And every buddy got looking at naruto madly. He was embarrassed he didn't mean for her to thrust he head into the obstruction of flowers. They all

kicked at him but he was a ninja so he was too strong. He was so angry so he ran a lot away while yelling Never forget the holocaust! They remembered the holocaust and where very much sad. They cried a lot too. But not as a lot as much as naruto was. In the weeds naruto ran through he heard a voice. Then Gohda came. He was banished because everyone thought of he was being the killer. So he had to live off fruit bats the inhabited rokkenjima. He was also say Naruto, your explanation! Naruto had no idiom what gohda was trying to cooperate. Then he realized Gohda was so sad he spoke in bad translator form. The middle box on the right and left rare, fatal. I think you need to oil. Well, dog dirt, dust can eat, andVienna. He shot. Then Naruto understudied. And spoke back at him. I do not know how to do it, because I was black I do not know how to work in the dark. But gohda was merciless. And you like black. 3 월 Weiner said: Well, I'm so stupid". Naruto would not give up and finally shouted Trailers and thousands of real progress. Kyaaah. Gohda gave up and said But the fox tail 8-903.


End file.
